in my past, sadness has been a temporary state. there have been times where the light at the end of the tunnel has been faint yet still possible to reach. this? hardly. i lost a part of me and the other part of me is drowning in incessant sadness that it hurts me too. tortured and helpless. her mother passed. it has been a month of hell. i can't go five minutes without thinking about it or about her. i truly miss momma jackson. i spent a lot of time with her that always left me proud of my partner. you know, they say if you want to know how your partner will evolve as an adult just look at their mother (or father). and the more i got to look at who mrs. jackson was as a person i fell more and more in love with the girl.
this vacation is bittersweet. difficult to deal without the lady for part of it as we have both been absent from work for so long things have backed up yet nice to get away from the daily drudge. very healthy here - physically, mentally and emotionally.
seems as if my mind is absent and it's been that way since she passed. so, i'll blog again when the mood presents itself.
miss you karen...
