i've come to the conclusion that the only time i can dedicate to blogging is when i'm here at the beach house during the silence of the early morning hours surrounded by lazy dogs, sleeping wifey and jumbo cup o'joe. hello again. obviously things have not slowed at all but everything is good so i have minimal complaints.

the wedding weekend (labor day) was absolutely fantastic! it seems like the party that folks still talk about which is a clear indication it was one helluva party. the family started filtering in on friday, saturday we had the fiesta hosting about 60 or so of our fam and friends at our house, then of course our formal wedding reception on sunday at the boathouse. i never really knew my family could party the way they did which was fun to watch. jello shooters magically appeared at the fiesta and were consumed by my family (of which included my SISTERS...yeah you heard it right my SISTERS). hehe. so weird. even my rents have taken up drinking. pops is a fan of beer and mama now enjoys a glass of red vino here and there. everyone got along so well it was awesome. it was surely a weekend full of celebrating and damn did we celebrate!

so from there we find ourselves here. about to embark on our adventure together. it's always been an adventure but now its getting down to being a true family and boy i can't wait :)

our adventures will also take us on a much needed honeymoon. in a few weeks we depart the states and find ourselves in barcelona, spain for some time then train it along the french riviera to nice, france. consider it our last hoorah till we settle down. it's going to be amazing.

so in the midst of all this happy happy joy joy stuff there's also a full time event job AND music career. things have been taking off beautifully with the music thing. people actually want me to play places - it's been a while since that's happened. the EP is almost done recording and it's going to sound awesome. now it's just getting over my nerves for the show next weekend. next weekend i get to play on a stage that i've always wanted to play on - the national. fingers crossed i don't suck.

well, it's getting down to the point of a necessary coffee refill.

till next time.

peace, love and beautiful fall weather at the beach.

pure awesomeness

so i sit...content. awaking to the sun and breeze of the beach. sitting, watching HGTV sipping a cup of my favorite kona coffee, ears waterlogged from bodyboarding and surfing, relaxed and...content. this is the first of many mini vacations we have here at the shack and boy it's a beautiful thing. it's been nothing but perfect and completely needed. even the dogs are vacationing well - who knew dogs could vacation with a daily life of sleeping, eating and drinking? friday night we saw one of the best and most fun concerts in a longggg time. jack johnson played at the amphitheater along with G. Love and ALO. just sitting there with my girl, kicking back, listening to great music, drinking expensive beer all after a day of relaxing on the beach. truly gorgeous. yesterday (saturday) was the 'lazy' day. i slept till 10 (which hasn't happened in years), we moped around the house with the pups then went to the beach late in the day to swim a bit, share a bottle of vino and go for some fun bodyboarding. pure awesomeness.

it's like the stress gods are finally leaving me alone for the first time in a long time. don't get me wrong, i love my life - it's just filled and it's filled with all good things. on top of the rest i've put back being a musician again. but i have to admit i like it. i'm booking shows again, practicing regularly again and writing music again. nice.

the wedding festivities are coming along nicely. surprisingly EVERYONE with the exception of a handful of people are coming to our reception in sept. it's an honor. i mean, people from the west coast are even making the trip to celebrate with us. it'll truly be a family reunion and that's pretty darn cool.

to be honest i like these mini vacations compared to weeks at a time. next week we get to take the kids for another long weekend here at the shack. i get to go fishing with my nephew, teach them to surf and go longboarding in the streets of the north end. my kids are getting into longboarding - how cool? they now have their own boards. i can't wait to have kids. weird transition i know but its been something that's been on my mind... a lot. i always think about how great of a mom the missus will be. how our connectedness and chill demeanor will (hopefully) make our kids laid back easy going folks who will make a difference in this world. that's what love is. it's feeling so confident that you and your partner are good people separate AND together that you want to pass that on to your kids. believing so much in she who brings out the best in me and us who strive to be the best we can be together - that's a big deal.

the older i get the more i realize how damaged i am. and the older i get the more i can recognize that and am ok with getting help. this being the only fear for me having kids. it's so scary to reflect on your familial relations, childhood, tweener years, disastrous teen existence to college questioning and feel like all of that makes you the adult that you are. it's like you have to work your hardest at 'correctly' raising your kids to become conscious, level headed, good hearted individuals. and geez that sounds like quite a task. but even with all that pressure... i'm ready.

obviously i awoke a tad philosophical this morning. didn't mean to get that deep but hey that shit happens. well yesterday we were invited by our va beach neighbors for brunch today. how sweet? so we do that in the a.m. then beach it for the day then GUSTER! at the amphitheater. they're opening for john mayer and i scored tickets for only $10 so...we watch guster, maybe a song or two of mayer then skedaddle to the boardwalk to watch fireworks. sounds like another perfect day to me.

be good blogosphere friends.

hang ten...

a loose end i've been meaning to mend

we just got back from a quick weekend trip to the shack at the beach. every time we go there we never want to leave. there's something about that place that is peaceful, relaxing and...comfortable. i bet it's not long till we jump this rva ship and move to the beach. even the dogs seem more relaxed and lazy from being there.

the shamrock 8k is two weeks away. we ran the course yesterday to get acquainted with it. who knew I could run five miles? or would ever? alas, i did it. even through all the jokingly complaints i do feel tremendously healthy. between the running every other day, eating right and yoga - i'm no longer feeling pathetic ;) i've moved from gentle to vinyasa yoga which is actually starting to make me have muscles. who knew that would happen too? hehe. maybe it will lend to an easier transition to surfing regularly. which i hope will happen this summer.

it's almost a loose end that i've been meaning to mend. i started to get into it when i was in middle and high school and stopped when i started college.

this weather is beautiful. finally away from snow chances and dreary depressing skies.

warm weather makes you want to do more - hiking, biking, walking, golfing, laying in the park, all of the above. another reason it becomes more difficult to leave the beach.

so we ordered our wedding rings. every thought that crosses my head about marrying her just makes me smile. this union is simple. lacking the need to go all out and follow traditional wedding guidelines. just a want to commit to one another (even if its not legal in this state) and share our love with family and friends. i like this so much better.

well, i've let go of thinking i can recap EVERYTHING that happens on here because there's so much that even my mind can't keep up. till next time...

and....i'm back.

Ok, so it’s these months have flown by like crazy since my last post. It seems like flying time is a side effect of growing old…geez. September and October were jam packed with events whilst the beach house renovations were underway to heed our ‘anniversary’ vacay at the beach in November when things finally settled down. It was pretty amazing to be there one day in late summer with a crappy bathroom then arrive in November to a gorgeous, clean, sparkly bathroom with all new everything. Hotness. And despite the Nor Easter we had a most excellent time cozying it up at the shack for anniversary week. I got all hopped up on detoxifying for a bit which led to attempting hot yoga at a va beach studio that week. And well I dig it and am slowly releasing the inner hippie. It alludes to some sort of peaceful meditation especially during the grieving process.

Of course within the big blogging break there were many injections of outings with friends, family birthdays and bowling. J We started a new tradition with the group o’friends – Halloween bowling. It’s super cheap and you start drinking at noon which makes for some good times and bad bowling but fun nonetheless. And there began the ‘detox’ month. Hehe.

Thanksgiving was super nice. The lady and I grabbed the dogs and ran away to the beach again while all of our families seemed to have dispersed across the east coast. So we made reservations for Thanksgiving dinner at the Surf Club at the Wyndham since it was a few blocks from the house. It was a great buffet – an array of traditional eats along with yummy seafood and most importantly great company and a beautiful view of the beach at sunset. Afterwards we took an automotive stroll down the boardwalk for the holiday lights on the beach.

So here we are onto December and a trip that felt so far away is only two days away. Mexico here we come! A week of all inclusive fun in the Maya Riviera – lounging beach and pool side, trekking the Tulum ruins, spending time with the lady and even more importantly being somewhere else other than the cold cold cold east coast.

I think 2010 will be filled with many great things. I’m already stoked about the trips we have planned. January we visit St. Louis to hang with friends and February we are already booked for a trip with some folks to Asheville to catch a Brandi Carlile show at the Orange Peel.

Obviously I may fall behind once again on blogging so Happy Holidays to you. If there is anything that I have learned from 2009 it is to be thankful. I am so terribly grateful for all that I have and want to spend 2010 and on showing those around me just how thankful I am that they are in my life.


Peace, love and gratitude.

it's a sadness that doesn't disappear

in my past, sadness has been a temporary state. there have been times where the light at the end of the tunnel has been faint yet still possible to reach. this? hardly. i lost a part of me and the other part of me is drowning in incessant sadness that it hurts me too. tortured and helpless. her mother passed. it has been a month of hell. i can't go five minutes without thinking about it or about her. i truly miss momma jackson. i spent a lot of time with her that always left me proud of my partner. you know, they say if you want to know how your partner will evolve as an adult just look at their mother (or father). and the more i got to look at who mrs. jackson was as a person i fell more and more in love with the girl.

this vacation is bittersweet. difficult to deal without the lady for part of it as we have both been absent from work for so long things have backed up yet nice to get away from the daily drudge. very healthy here - physically, mentally and emotionally.

seems as if my mind is absent and it's been that way since she passed. so, i'll blog again when the mood presents itself.

miss you karen...

monkeys in my heart - rattling their cages

i once had someone tell me that i had the 'perfect life' - that i had everything. ironically at the time i was in a failing marriage and struggling internally searching for my purpose in life. like there was something else out there for me than the hum drum life of being a trophy wife. alas, now i'm fully content yet there are still monkeys in my heart rattling their cages. maybe it's the imperfect genes i've inherited or there is just one more aspect of my life that i'm itching to rearrange. we spend our lives working towards success - i still want to know what i'll be when i grow up. i'm truly blessed to have her, this beautiful house, pathetic yet loyal pups, the house on the beach, a talent i can't explain but where i go daily i need something...more. this dependency on a bottle of dangerous pills is against my norm in hopes to replace the drugs with yoga, boxing gloves, meditation, something other than a path that could lead me to the likes of the recent MJ disaster. and yes, because it itches so bad that anything, i mean anything, to soothe it would suffice. i spent a few years of my life itching...literally. but this 'itch' is different. anxiety ridden, adrenaline pumping, fully fatigued state of unconsciousness. then it used to be a chronic disease that stemmed from stress from my last relationship - i get that now. and the fact that i'm so content in my personal life makes me think this 'itch' is biological. in these 'genes' that i always said my family got on clearance. i used to shrug my shoulders at my mother's health issues and attempt to provide some sort of compassionate comfort but now, i get it. sorry ma for the disbelief. i feel it too.

despite the recent illness i was able to take the lady on a day of fun-filled activity. like we added all the past friday night 'date nights' we missed and combined three or four in one day. we went to the famous hanover tomato festival to indulge in BLT heaven. then we saw the most amazing IMAX movie at the science museum. i know she (and it's been translated to passion) loves coral reefs and colorful fish so we saw the "coral reef adventure". completely brought me back to snorkeling in the Philippines which was one of the most memorable experiences in my life. something i'll always keep in the back of my head and retract when necessary. a happy place moment. the day took us to a tasty dinner at Rustica then (always my fave) a Richmond Kickers game. this time it was ladies night equipped with wine tasting tent and memorable winning. she won an autographed kicker's soccer ball. i was stoked maybe more than her - i'm such a nerd.

closing on the beach house is next week. reason #245 i may have this anxiety illness going. so excited about something that you just want it to happen already. we've already started packing which builds up the suspense even more. just can't wait to call it our own.

well - i hope to write again soon as it seems to soothe my soul and distract me from the monkeys in my heart.

bionic dog

gosh, it's been an expensive and tiring few days with the pup. jackster had an obstruction in his duodenum. basically a square chard of a bone that punctured (and was stuck) in his digestion tube thingy. ew and painful. poor kid spent two nights in the doggy hospital. thankfully he's home and now transmits frequencies through the satellite they stuck around his neck. he looks silly and i know niko is quietly taunting him in doggy speak but jackster is too high on pain meds to care.

so we got it - the house on the beach. our little slice of beach heaven for us to visit at any time we want. i can surf, skate, sunbathe, walk the trails of a beautiful state park, spend time with the lady, chillax with the pups, watch the sunrise and sunset on the beach to my heart's content. life can't get any better than this. it's a little 1930's surf cottage yearning for our attention. she giggles but one day i want to make it on the pages of 'coastal living' mag. dammit, it will happen. i have that much faith in our renovating and decorating skills. i'll be sure to use this blog to update folks. i'm totally stoked...

i swear i purposefully try to leave random weekends free in the calendar but things pop up. it's a never ending cycle. the house inspection is this weekend and thankfully that's all that's planned. next week is the big 4th event that i'm sure i'll be needing a few tall ones afterwards to recoup. those big events are killer. i also have a solo gig to prep for - per usual hoping not to suck. attempting not to suck is not an easy thing. it's harder than it looks ;) thankfully it's a profession where drinking on the job is socially acceptable. nice.

alas, i'm slowly winding down. the dogs are a snor'n and the lady keeps yawning; a combination that heeds the nightly turn down routine.